"What's a dad supposed to do?"

A couple years ago I started to make a point of taking out the inner city boys one on one.  The idea was to get to know them better and to mentor them a little more.  What I found was that all the boys didn't know how to react when I invited them out, and when we did go out, they felt awkward.  I quickly realized that these boys didn't know how to behave around a man, or father figure.  They always asked where the other boys where and had very little to say.  It's taken some time for them to get comfortable with going out.

One time I took out an eleven year old boy, Nolan, for dinner.  It was was awkward at first but he eventually started talking.  He'd been going through a rough time at home and school and I wanted to find out why.  He started to share with me that he had just found out the year before he had a father.  I had a conversation with him that went something like this:

me: "So what do you think about having a dad?"
Nolan: "I don't know.  I never thought about it before."
me: "How do you feel?"
Nolan: "I don't know, what's a dad supposed to do in your life?  And how come he wants to be in my life now?  Now that I'm a man he wants be around, where was he before?"

There was a lot of hurt, anger and confusion in Nolan's heart.  It was compounded by the fact that his absent "dad" was starting to fight for visitation and custody rights through the court system.

It's been a tough journey for Nolan but he's a good kid with a great heart and trying to find his way through it all.

What really concerned my heart was the comment, "What's a dad supposed to do in your life?"  It's a question that many if not all of our inner city kids ask themselves.  How will they learn to be godly fathers without a father in their lives?  There's no one to teach them how to fish, learn a new video game, or treat a woman right.  They need to be mentored, they need to know what a man of God is.  Will you help?

"I wish I had to raise support."

It was just a couple years ago that I graduated from CEF's Children's Ministry Institute.  While there I remember having a conversation with some people about the challenges of raising support.  I learned that in some CEF chapters in the States you don't have to raise support because that is the responsibility of the board.  I remember saying to my friend Todd (who didn't have to raise support), "I wish I didn't have to raise support.  That's great that you don't have to worry about it."  To my surprise Todd responded, "Sometimes I wish I had to raise support.  Because sometimes when I need that extra boost in support or have prayer needs I have no one to turn to.  But because you have to raise support you have people you can turn to when you have these needs."


Being a missionary has it's challenges, and there are days when I think life would be easier if I didn't have to raise support and had a "regular paying job".  But then I think, my kids wouldn't have the opportunity to hang out at camp every summer, come to Saturday programs, and be around the inner city kids and Christian youth that I have come to grow and love.  I am sure being in this type of environment has really contributed to the spiritual growth of my kids and their sensitivity to God's heart.

From time to time people will remark about spiritual depth of our kids but I know I can't take any credit for it.  When I stop and think why it is our kids are sensitive to God, I realize it's because of the supporters who pray regularly for our family, supporters that I would never have if we weren't missionaries.  Having such amazing people pray for us might be the single greatest blessing of being a missionary and something I wouldn't trade for anything and makes the sacrifices worthwhile.

So to everyone who prays for us and our kids, thank you...you encourage us so much and are truly making a difference.

This is My Voice...

*Dave talked about suicide at age 4.  *Maddie's father left when she was 11.  *Lisa's father decided he wants to be a part of her life when she graduated elementary school.  *Crystal just moved out of a housing co-op with an 80% illiteracy rate.  They all live in poverty.

This is a tiny glimpse into the lives of four young people who attended STI this summer.  But long before STI they were campers at Camp Good News.  If you want to see the power of God, get to know some of these inner city kids who love God.  I am continually humbled by the strength these guys have found in God.  Despite everything they have been through they continue to lean on God and seek to serve Him faithfully.  The daily influences around them run counter to the Christian faith, and yet they choose to follow Him.

*Maddie and I are March Break '08

If all we focus on in urban ministry is short term results we will very quickly get discouraged and want to throw in the towel.  I constantly remind myself and new volunteers that urban ministry is a marathon, not a sprint.  You have to be in it for the long haul.  You have to be ready to make sacrifices.  You have to be ready for your heart to break for these kids.  As someone once said, "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care."  I have never founded that to be more true than when I am working with the kids.


This is probably why I don't understand short term missions in urban ministry unless there is someone there to continue the work.  In the course of a week the kids can begin to trust and get attached to those who came to reach them.  but if the team leaves in a week never to be heard from again, what makes them any different from the absentee father?

I have to admit it was very exciting and rewarding to see four CGN kids attend STI this year AND serve in the field.  The best part of all, I didn't have to persuade them.  They wanted to do it.  They wanted to serve.  And they did well.  Very well.

They were embraced by all the CYIA who had no idea they were from the inner city, unless they knew them before.


They taught kids the gospel through the province and served as counsellors at camp.  They lived with different families, visited different churches and led children to Christ.  Over the course of the summer they matured so much spiritually that they found it hard to be campers at Teen camp with all "drama" that they used to be a part of.

*Dave often talks about God on facebook and continues to grow spiritually.  The change in his life has made his younger sister want to serve with us next summer!  *Maddie and *Crystal teach a Good News Club in their community.  *Lisa is active in ministry at her new church.  They're also planning to join us again next summer.  Who better to reach the kids in their communities than them?


I am so proud of them and inspired by the lives they live.  The change God has done in their lives has motivated other campers to want to serve with us next summer.  They still have a long way to go (just like the rest of us) but they're off to a great start.